He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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