big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
