He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
