Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
