Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
