I hope mine doesn't look like that
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
honey bunches of taint.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
