Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
