Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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