you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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