how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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