I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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