I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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