Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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