No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
