Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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