foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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