Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
