billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize