I just saw a hot homeless man
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
