If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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