All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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