thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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