You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
