Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
