It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
