walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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