I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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