So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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