i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thus making me awesome and them whores
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
