chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
