And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
