I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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