I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
