They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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