There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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