Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
