I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
