I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
