I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize