My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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