GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
