none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
