He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
