in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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