I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize