plz talk dirty to me
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
They took my balls.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
