BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
