he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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