she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
