Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
