Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
