I didn't shave. On purpose
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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