I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
