just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
