woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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