i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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