so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
