just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
