wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Randomize
