It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
