Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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