Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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