I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
