i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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