Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
