some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
