Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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