I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
